


found you half buried in the backyard, dug you up and took you home to keep on my shelf

by voidofthestars



Series: A family can be 3 moms 3 dads 2 (and half) parents a Bro and one mutant kid [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: (but like; its not a bad thing it's fine), (i was gonna use bro a s a good parent but that is a stretch i think), (literally), (specifically) - Freeform, (well he is a dick but not like canon levels), (what else do you call lusus death), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Animal Death, Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider is Not an Asshole, Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider is a Good Parent, Found Family, Gen, Kidnapping, Seadweller Bro Strider, Troll Bro Strider, Troll Culture (Homestuck), Troll Dave Strider, Trollstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:41:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24920983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voidofthestars/pseuds/voidofthestars
Summary: He is hundreds of sweeps old, and across those sweeps, he'd never seen anything quite like this. He was intrigued, plus it would piss of her royal bitchness, and that was always a good thing in his book.orseadweller bro finds a mutant wiggler after killing it's lusus. turns out he likes the small squirming thing and is going to keep it, maybe give this whole guardian thing a try
Relationships: Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider & Dave Strider, Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider & The Condesce
Series: A family can be 3 moms 3 dads 2 (and half) parents a Bro and one mutant kid [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1810510
Comments: 5
Kudos: 64





	found you half buried in the backyard, dug you up and took you home to keep on my shelf

**Author's Note:**

> some notes!!  
> bro is a mutant, as most fuschias are female, and well, -gestures- the condense let him live bc he was interesting and something to fuck w. he hates her, but is good just chilling at her side for the moment.
> 
> His horns resemble katana blades and also he's fucking huge even for an adult troll. he's got big ol ear fins
> 
> his quirk is an atrocity to god that I cant believe we came up with, it gives me a headache. i will not tell you what it is in case I decide to write something else for this disaster of a verse.
> 
> this is not in any form str*derc*st or anything like that! 
> 
> i hate writing troll lingo so thank god he's a highblood which lets me get away w using human lingo -completely ignores that that may be fake and dumb for their own bullshit-

The Prince, referred to as such by the highbloods, or when referred to by lowbloods, The Houndbeast, rolled and cracked his neck in disgust, flicking the blood off his blade, ear fins settling back from their aggression display to rest along his neck.

Her Imperial Cuntness had apparently decided he'd been on board and underfoot for too long of a time this sweep, what with the showing up to bother her and her crew with his own, getting into fights with her upper court and subsequently killing her upper court, so she'd had his battery send his ship clear back to Alternia, after stealing his crew to refill her own and leaving him down to a near skeleton shift.

So here he was. Back planetside to get more newly conscription aged trolls to beef his ranks back up. Tedious as fuck, particularly for how long it takes getting everyone fitted and prepared. 

He technically didn't have to come back with his ship, lovingly titled "The Battleship Aggreviation", to pick up new recruits, his helmsman and captain could take care of themselves. But no, she'd used her fancy fucking mind bullshit to knock him out and send his ass back in the middle of the black back to the planet.

So now, instead of lounging around her big ass space boat, starting fights with those chucklefucks from the church while waiting for his ship to come back before descending on some hapless planet, here he was. Back on a planet filled with shitty toddlers, too weak to even remotely put up a fight, and more likely to submit anyway. 

So instead, he's doing his third favorite planetside activity. Hunting.

Specifically hunting lusii. He'd already spent hours in the seas, killing the particularly irritating ones and gotten bored.

(In the deeper privacy of his mind he will admit he did miss swimming in an actual ocean, with other living beings and currents, rather than the large pool systems on the lower decks of Condescension, where the water was also saltwater but still and empty) 

He'd just finished slaying an obnoxious looking sea-goat, sending it floating towards the pocket of the sea where he definitely didn't know the heiress lived or at least where Dualscar's brat could find it and take it to her. Nothing of the sort, no sir, not Damien Stridr, loyal knight to Her Imperial Empress, who let his mutant self live when she could have had him executed. Not at all. 

Anyway. 

He'd gotten bored earlier than usual with the ease of hunting sea creatures and moved inland. 

(He had a routine with these types of unwilling trips. Leave the docking station two days from the main city, head to the ocean, get bored, swing back to the station, check whatever bureaucratic bullshit he had to do then move farther inland away from the city then eventually move back towards the ship, then leave the planet, till queen fishtits got annoyed with him enough to send him back again.) 

Forests were fine for a brief bit of excitement but no lusii living there ever got dangerous or big enough to be interesting.

He did catch the scent of a feline lusus in the middle of the forest, but underneath the smell of the wild and blood, it stunk with the smell of wiggler, so he turned away and headed towards the mountain, swatting drones out of the sky for shits and giggles as he went higher. 

As he approached the mountains towards the center of the mainland, an easy two days hike from the station they docked in, made ridiculously shorter with gratuitous shadow-slipping, his ear fins flared out, catching the sound of a screaming kind of caw, the sound of a pissed off lusus. And this one sounded big. He bared his teeth in a vicious grin, the kind that had made weaker cadets nearly piss themselves with fear in the past.

A faint growl rattling around in his throat, his sword fell from his sylladex into his open hand as he stalked forward through the undergrowth, eyes like slits.

It didn't take him long to get to where the lusus was making a fuss. A big fucking bird looking bastard, with four wings flapping wildly, each at least half as long as he was tall, sending dirt and grass whipping around the clearing, large clawed talons that dug into the ground, churning it to muck, and a massive head that seemed intent on getting into a hollowed-out log in the far corner of the clearing, just within the treeline. 

It hadn't seemed to notice him, meaning whatever was in that log was more important to it than any predator, which really, just gave him an unfair advantage. So he gave a sharp whistle, catching its attention.

It whipped around and cawed loudly at him, giving him a very unfortunate glimpse into its mouth, revealing something that really should never have been in a bird's mouth. 

"Bro what the fuck is wrong with your fucking teeth." It really isn't phrased as a question, even with the subsonic growl slipping up into an audible range at the end, as he stares at this lusus with actual flat prey animal teeth in its mouth.

It clacked its beak at him, and subsequently snapping its gogdamn teeth together at him, making him actually cringe back, something he hadn't done for sweeps upon sweeps, for a half a second before he shakes it off. 

"Alright, I was going to kill you anyway, but for the crime against all trollkind that is your fucking mouth, I get to do it like it was a royal decree from Her High Bitchness. I'm actually going to enjoy this." Well aware he was monologuing at a creature that only half understood him, he lunged for it, sword raised. 

It honestly wasn't as interesting or particularly challenging of a battle as he was hoping but, fuck it, he did manage to burn some energy and irritation. And killed the stupid hideous looking bastard.

He stood over its corpse, barely even sweating. He poked it a couple of times with his sword before an idea slipped into his head, giving him a fang-filled grin. With a couple of messy slashes, he removed its head, fucked up teeth and all, and banished it into his sylladex. You know, as a present for Meenah.

"She's gonna fucking hate this." He laughed to himself as the breeze changed, sweeping the stench of blood out of the clearing, but also bringing in something new.

Fear. And a very specific strain, one he hadn't smelled this close in quite a while. Fear and the underlying cloying scent of a nearby wiggler. 

Ah, for fucksakes. 

He grimaced, lip curled up, sharp fangs poking out on one side. He hated killing wigglers. They were never fun to kill, they never could put up any kind of worthy fight, like cutting weeds or training dummies.

He flexed his ear fins up, opening his ears for a wider range of hearing and focused a little bit. There. Wiggler hadn't gotten far. He'd go and give it a mercy killing. Looked like the beast was just gonna kill him up here anyway, far away from others, considering he hadn't seen anything resembling a hive on his hike up.

Stepping around the mutilated corpse at his feet, he moved into the woods, past the log half torn open, following both the fear-smell and the faint scrabbling marks in the dirt, into the dark of the woods. 

It almost wasn't fair to the poor bastard, what with it doing it's best to escape a full-grown royalblood who could shadowslip.

Damien caught up pretty quickly, as they both knew he would. "Come on kid, gonna make this quick and easy." He said, following the kid into another clearing, one with a river cutting through it. The wiggler knelt panting by the bank, hands clenched in the dirt, head pressed against them. 

He eyed the shaking form, noting the way its horns came from somewhere near the front of its head curling backward with nubby little protrusions spaced evenly on the front, looking almost like a set of gears. 

The closer he got the more it shook even as it dragged itself into a kneeling stance, eyes clenched tightly closed but head still held high, hands buried in the dirt. 

A flash of a grin at the sight, levels of respect moving up a tick. It takes globes to face your death, particularly as a wiggler, one at the absolute most four sweeps. Even more so when your death is at the hands of an adult like himself.

"Like I said kid, I'll make this easy." He said, drawing back his sword to give him a quick stab through the bloodpusher, something that made dying nothing more than a brief punch of pain then nothing. 

Sword aimed with a steady hand, it follows its designated path true and sure. But. But then. 

The kid opened its eyes in that last possible second, maybe to actually view his own death, maybe as a last fuck you, or even as a 'he might as well know what he's killing' but whatever the reason, it gave him a half-second pause, one that seemed to drag out for an eternity.

Because now Damien knew why the lusus had flipped it's shit and tried to kill this kid. 

His eyes, much younger than he should have been, had his color filled in. And if that alone wasn't enough to scream mutant, though, admittedly one that would have been easier to hide for another few sweeps, but the color was what really threw him off. A bright vibrant red, with a solid white pupil.

(Sweeps and sweeps later he'll still never really know which made him stay his hand. The color itself maybe, or perhaps the unwavering defiance and the hint of potential that hid in the red depths. Most of the time he won't think of it, because either way he got to keep the brat, and that was enough.)

Regardless of the reason, those eyes stayed his blade hand, mere inches from the kid's heart. The air went still and the forest fell silent as they looked at each other, Damien's gaze roaming over the wiggler and the kid's eyes flicking between the blade and his face as he continued to shake. 

With a quick movement that had the kid visibly stifling a flinch, his sword fell back into his sylladex as he crouched down, resting on his heels. The kid rocked back, making like it was going to scramble away, only to remember the river at its back, leaving it frozen leaning away.

"How old are you kid?" The question slid out in that easy drawl, one he tended to over-exaggerate in court and the one that got dropped completely when commanding his fleet.

After a beat or two of silence, longer than he expected, one of his eyebrows rose as his fins raised and flared out slightly, an intimidation sign.

With a nervous gulp of air, the kid finally spoke. "Three and a quarter sweeps sir." The submission and fear pheromones grew heavier as he stuttered out his answer.

"And your name?"

"Daviid." 

"Hm." 

He could see the effort it took Daviid to keep looking at him, if not making true eye contact, saw the effort it took to keep from shaking or crying, and an old and nearly smothered part of his bloodpusher twinged as a thought-to-be long-forgotten memory surfaced. 

Himself as a tiny grub, and then a small wiggler, latched onto the back of his own lusus, not knowing that in a few sweeps, when his own eyes began filling in with fuchsia, that'd the being who'd raised and cared about him would turn on him, leaving him to struggle and fight and claw his way to adulthood, till the day he stood in front of the Empress and dared her to kill him.

"Alright then." With one smooth motion, the adult pushes himself up to his feet, the sudden movement startling Daviid, sending him nearly falling back into the river. His reflexes were thankfully fast enough to save himself or Damien would have had to go for an extra swim, one he wasn't really all that interested in.

Both of them being soaking wet would have made for a terrible time shadow-slipping back to the ship. 

"Are you going to kill me now?" 

"....Nah. Think I'm going to keep you." And with a hand nearly the size of the kid's entire body he reached down and picked him up by the back of his shirt and tucked him under one arm.

He couldn't help laughing at the loud squawk of surprise that escaped Daviid but still held tight even as he began to squirm and struggle. 

"Try to bite me kid and this trip will get way more uncomfortable for ya'. Ain't gonna do anything to you" - here he tipped his head down to look at him, eye to eye, fuschia to red, - "on my honor and my blade." 

Seconds seemed to crawl by as their eyes remain locked together, The Prince and the mutant, highest of high and off-color. Daviid squinted, seemingly finding something he trusted because he slumped over his forearm. 

"Fine whatever, not like I can actually stop you." He crossed his arms and twisted his head to the side, facing away and nearly catching the dull points of his horns on his shirt. "Anyway like what's even your title or am I gonna have to keep calling you the tall asshole with the fins this whole time?"

A raised incredulous eyebrow. "I'm the Prince? Also known as the Houndbeast?" 

"Am I supposed to know who the fuck that is?? Because right now your just an adult who killed my lusus, who admittedly was trying to kill me himself, and also decided against killing me, in favor of like picking me up like an infant purrbeast and just charting me off to who knows fucking where. Like for all I know, I'm gonna end up as weird child slave back at your hive, maybe you'll use me as target practice like all the other kids in the lawnrings, fuck I don't know."

Man, this kid can fucking talk. Damien hid a grin. Meenah was gonna fucking hate this, and honestly, he couldn't wait to see the look on her face when she realized she couldn't get rid of either of them.

(Once they make it back down the valley to the ship, Daviid's voice will cut out, quiet and afraid, eyes facing the ground, having likely never been around this many other trolls, let alone adults.

Even though he would never show it, shadowslipping to shorten a two-night trip to half a night was tiring. But he pushed himself, even more, to flash by all the crew and their last-minute boarding and loading. He only stops in on the helmsman and his captain, a cobalt with inner angled horns. 

Xie's been his favorite for as long as xie's been captaining his ship. Xie has become so accustomed to his bullshit that nothing really phases xiem, so really bringing a small wiggler on board and telling xiem that he needed a set of sick shades for the brat barely even checks off on the list of weirdest things he's had xier do.

Eventually, they finally make back to his personal rooms, Daviid half exhausted and even Damien himself just the slightest bit winded, not that'd anyone would ever be able to tell. 

"Jegus. I knew from your title you were a fancy sonofabitch, but holy shit you have your own battleship? My school feed never worked, what with Crowdad always tearing out parts of the house because of wiring and all that, so if you were like big on those, I really don't know who you are, other than a rich motherfucker." Daviid, the second he's dropped to the floor, bounced back up and began nervously speaking.

With a groan and a stretching movement that cracked nearly all the vertebrates in his spine, "I am Damien Stridr, right hand to the Empress. And you little wiggler," he said scooping up Daviid again and dropping him into his recupercoon. "should sleep. In two days, you get to meet Her Imperial Condescension." 

It was obvious how tired the kid is by the way of even though he's struggling to stay awake long enough so he can properly process the new knowledge he is cursed with, the sopor begins to take effect within moments, leaving him fighting to keep his eyes open, what with the addition of being kidnapped and almost death by lusus. 

But even as he fought, The Prince could see him losing that battle, sinking into sleep even though an adult lounged in the other room, stress from the adrenaline rush seeping away from him.

Even while he watched the kid, ideas filled through his head, of how to train and teach and make better. But first a name. his titles sound so harsh and strange from the kid, while his hatching name was off-limits.

'Huh. I do like that term the church used to refer to their younger members. He'll call me Bro.'

**Author's Note:**

> hey yall the bro discord server is full of amazing wonderful talented people whose main goal is to kill me daily!
> 
> Ace particularly, what w his amazing art, and we got talking about troll bro which lead to fuck-all big seadweller bro which lead to us talking about him finding mutant dave which lead to Ace producing this glorious piece of art: https://tavbro-edits-stuff.tumblr.com/post/621829173190737920/ 
> 
> and of course that lead into him starting an askblog that yall should follow and send asks to: https://ask-the-houndbeast.tumblr.com/
> 
> which lead me into spiralling and making this in about two days.


End file.
